A Rush of Euphoria, Followed by a Sense of Dread

This has been an amazing week. Funny how things can change so fast and in so many good ways. At the same time, awesome changes can lead to awesome responsibility, and even downright scariness.

Example 1: I am sitting on my bed between classes on Wednesday and I am just falling asleep to a nice nap when my computer does that "Ding-You've-Got-Email" thing. And I see that it's the Main Writer for the 100 Hour Board informing me that my application has been accepted and now I have been chosen as a writer. Whoa. It seems like I sent in my application ages ago, but there it was. My nap shattered, I jumped back onto the Board (ironically, I had finished reading the posts for the day right before my nap) and started perusing the new things. As I did this and read the Writer Guide, my principle joy and giddiness shifted to pressure and worry. This is it, I'm going to start DOING something now. How in the world can I write well enough? How can I keep writing at that elusive level of 'good'? Will the other writers like me? Hate me? Be mildly amused and put up with me? (Update: I was so happy with the warm welcome I received, and that helped to quell my worries, thanks a lot!) It wasn't too bad of a sense of dread, I guess just more pressure and expectation that I expected.

Example 2: I had an interview for a TA job that I have really wanted on Thursday. I had been really worried and hoping that I would do well. I did well enough in my interview, and apparently good enough that she hired me on the spot. Again, a quick hit of excitement followed by the realization that now I would have a CLASS. Students (unruly freshmen at that) would be MY responsibility. When my interviewer mentioned grading, it freaked me out. I would be holding the grades of these kids in my hands. Scary.

So why am I writing all this? I've just come to realize yet again that the biggest and most adventurous events in our lives are not always easy. The only ways in which we grow are by trial and experience. I'm just glad that I haven't backed down and that I'm trying these new experiences. Isn't it funny that the most exciting parts of life are the most scariest? It makes things a lot more interesting.